The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
