i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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