At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
