Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
