i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
