The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Terrible idea I love it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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