who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
