we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
