i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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