I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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