This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
