What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
