i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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