This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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