I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
