IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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