I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize