He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I am one with the molecules
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
