well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
whose parrot is this?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
as a side note pls kill me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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