THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
