Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i drank out of a bidet.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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