i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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