Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
