Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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