If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
