Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
