when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I want a musical about memes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
