Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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