I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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