i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
