it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
