i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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