my vag is so smooth its legendary
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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