I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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