I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
