All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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