Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
