not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
