so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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