hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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