I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
