its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
