there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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