My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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