ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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