Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
