having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
