you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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