better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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