Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
