Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
