she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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