Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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