Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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