So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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