he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
