when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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