1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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