Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
