idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
