Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
