it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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